If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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