I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
