Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
