I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
