I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
