yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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