Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
