He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize