so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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