Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
