I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Randomize
