so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
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