It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I believe in your delicious
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
