i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
