We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
