your parents love me but you hate me
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
