I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
