Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
My vagina just clenched in fear
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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