why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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