how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
