If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Randomize
