i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
