I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
