Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
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