Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
