end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
My Higher Power is John Stamos
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
