I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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