Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize