I think I am morally bankrupt
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
