Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
