i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
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