I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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