some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
