O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
In America we eat man semen.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
