I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
