A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Everyone says I win the strip club
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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