they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
