My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize