Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
He felt like a one man threesome
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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