he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I FOUND THE LEGS
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
