i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
