In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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