Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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