I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize