first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Randomize
