you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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