i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize