I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Randomize
