real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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