maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
