There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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