I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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