You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
