There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
