I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
