i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
