oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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