Your tits are I can't wait for
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Dear god my vagina.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
