You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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