Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
