Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
