There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
