Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
