woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
