she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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