my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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