There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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