we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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