I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
