I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
