got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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