So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
