check it out our google latitudes are spooning
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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