So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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