Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
This is the high leading the old right now
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I want to fling myself into the sun
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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